I woke up today and went to my parent's house to clean, then came home and rested and made chocolate chip cookies. I was getting ready for church and went to the bathroom and when I wiped there was more blood there than ever before. I am sure I panicked but they said to go to the ED if the bleeding got worse or if there were cramps. I am not cramping. We got there and they did an ultrasound and really couldn't tell us much. They couldn't see the baby or the baby's heartbeat. The doctor said that their machines aren't as good as the doctors and it also depends on the way the baby is positioned. They did say that my cervix is closed, so that is good as it shows that I am not actively miscarrying.
I am supposed to rest until I see the doctor...UUUGGGHHHHHHH!
You know how you just have a feeling about things? Like intuition or premonition...I just feel like this baby isn't going to make it. I am trying so hard to be positive, but I feel like I have to proctect myself and my heart. I had a horrible dream last week that I miscarried and I am trying to prepare myself for the u/s on Thursday. I just feel like there won't be a viable baby anymore.
Jeff and I have chatted about it and we will just try again. We will have a baby. I did make the decision that I would be transferring doctors. I am just not very happy with the way I have been handled at my current doctor. I am not one to easily switch doctors but I think it is necessary.